I am…


…..a drummer. I love playing the drums. It does not matter whether it is a kit or hand drums, I love playing the drums. I started playing when I was 12 or so on a kit my grandma bought me. I would spend hours hammering away to all the latest rock blaring through my headphones. As I got older things changed. I got my driver’s license and a job after school so I slowly lost interest in playing. I sold my drums and didn’t play but two or three times over the next two decades.

Several years ago that I was struggling with faith and what if any gifts did I have.  Did I have a purpose or was this all there was. Then I was replaced very abruptly from my job and told they weren’t firing me but decided to go another direction (by the way getting replaced is called “being discharged without cause”, which translates to “your fired”. Nice). So here I am asking some big questions and I have no job. Really nice. So I am sitting around the house feeling sorry for myself when my wife announces that a new church was having a Saturday night preview service and she was going.

We hadn’t stepped inside a church for several years and, well I didn’t have else anything going on,so I  decided to go.We had been there for 10 minutes or so when a gentleman says” Hey I hear you play the drums” and I said “Yes I do.” “Let’s talk after the service” he says and heads off . Man that freaked me out till I saw my wife smiling at me from several feet away. Now I  knew where he got that information.

The thing is I hadn’t played the drums for a very long time but still considered myself  a drummer. And I was because in my heart I believed I still was  a drummer.In discovering that I realized I still believed within me, that I needed or wanted to believe, that there was something to faith. That there was something missing that needed filled. I was raised to believe there is  supreme being or god.It was simply hard to wrap myself around that notion because of the way the things are in this world and also in the mess I had made of my life.

That day I started a journey that has lead me to answering some of the questions I had. One is what is my gift? My gift is I can play the drums. Now mind you I was not as good as I remembered. I was a legend in my own mind back in the day but one thing didn’t change: I love playing the drums but now I get to share that passion and my gift with others. I also discovered I always had faith but it was buried and covered with a lot of layers of junk.

I do believe there is a purpose for us all. I believe we all have a gift or gifts we can use to share with others, something that can make a positive impact on others lives. I encourage you to search for yours not as a means to the end but as a new adventure in life’s journey. Enjoy the trip.

‡ Author’s Note:  Just seven more days till this blog is retired. Life has me going in a new direction and others things have changed as well. For instance I no longer attend the church I was drumming for but I am still a drummer. Once a drummer always a drummer. This was originally published July 25, 2009. ‡

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3 thoughts on “I am…

    • Thanks Catherine for stopping by and commenting. I have noticed one thing about faith and that is if you do not exercise it life will do it for you. It is just a little less painful if we take the first step, no?
      Best wishes to you on NaNo and the wild ride that it is 🙂 ~ John

      • Exactly.

        NaNo and I aren’t getting along this year. My health is bad and it’s taking a toll. I’m about 5k behind. I am going to write something else today – and count it towards my goal. I think this year my goal is going to be to write 50k; not just finish a book.

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