This fact of life is one of the first lesson I ever learned. My mom had one wonderfully frustrating characteristic: She never sugar coated the truth. If it was black she called it black, not gray nor white as in white lie, but black. Life is not fair and that is a biter pill to swallow, for anyone, lest along a child. What I had was a loving and safe home and that gave me a semi-soft place to land when life was, uh, life.
I now find it ironic that this same woman, who both loved me and corrected me, has taken a stance of not being so brutally honest. Hell she has decide not to even to tell a white lie! She is just flay out lying! And I am o.k. with that.
Why? Because life is not fair and there is really nothing she can do to change it. She has a disease that simply put will kill her. So when people ask, she says “I am fine” or I doing good” or some other lie along those lines. Why? I think it’s because she knows others cannot change a thing and the burden of sympathy is heavier than the reality she faces. So she lies.
I on the other hand am now brutally honest with others about her and her disease. I have to be brutally honest with me as well. Shes more than likely going to die a pretty ugly death and there is nothing I can do about. So why be so honest? I want others to know no one lives in a vacuum and that your actions and my actions truly affect others. Most people can handle the truth if given a chance.
Life is too short to live in a lie that life is fair. What I am learning from my mom’s ‘lies” is the truth, just for the truths sake, does not change things. It’s just a fact and we have to figure out how to traverse this and other truths. What I am gleaning from this also is we cannot nor should we just get over it. Sometimes the best we can hope for is to hang in there till we can get past it no matter where it takes us.